Live chat operators have, well, a lively time of things – particularly in the small hours when people rather unwisely take to the keyboard after a few drinks.
One of Yomdel’s operators Katie says: “It’s amazing how so many people think they’re talking to a bot before realising it’s actually a real person on the other end.
“That’s probably why we get so many odd conversations because people try and catch the bot out and then have no choice but to carry on the joke once they work out we’re real people.”
Which explains the following completely surreal conversation that a tenant thought he was having with his un-named letting agent.
Ian: Hi, welcome to xxxx. Are you looking to get in touch with your local branch? Perhaps I can help here on chat?
Visitor: Yeah hi, just wondering if there’s any news on the geese?
Ian: Thanks for coming on chat. Let me see what I can do for you . . . I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand your question. Would you mind giving me a little more information please?
Visitor: The geese in my flat? Sorry, perhaps you’re new. I should explain. It all started on a cold January morning, some seven nights ago. I returned home from a long day ploughing the mill, and there was a goose in my bathroom. Now, this sort of thing is happening all the time in my flat, so I didn’t pay it much mind. Especially since the horse.
Ian: Oh no, not the horse! It’s probably best if I put you in touch with one of my colleagues who’ll be able to discuss the geese with you. Would that be ok?
Visitor: Hold on, I haven’t finished
Ian: Oh sorry. Sure
Visitor: The next night I came home from another long day weaving the corn, and it was still there.
Ian: ok
Visitor: Normally this sort of thing just clears itself up on its own. Then the next day, there were TWO geese. I assumed there had just been a mistake at the factory or something. But then, the following day there were three, sat on my sofa watching the television. They insist they’re bona fide tenants. I wouldn’t mind, but I haven’t seen them contribute to the rent
Ian: Oh
Visitor: Anyway, two days ago, when I arrived home there were five geese, all gaggling away. Yesterday, eight. And now I’ve got 13 of the blighters strutting round the flat. Was just wondering if you knew anything about it? Sounds like there’s been no update
Ian: No I didn’t know anything about this, it sounds really horrible. The best I can do is to pass on your message and one of my colleagues will get back to you and help you.Would that be ok?
Visitor: Yes, that would be fantastic. By my reckoning, by tomorrow there will be 21 geese. I keep telling them that the tenancy agreement says “no pets”, but they seem to think it just… doesn’t apply to them?
Ian: One moment please
Visitor: Oh hang on, one of the geese says he wants to speak to you, just quickly, is that ok?
Ian: No problem, sure
He’s saying “HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK”
As Yomdel – which does a lot of live chat for estate and letting agents – points out, all their operators are unfailingly polite.
Comments (5)
Should have explained that by Christmas the tenant could have made a killing and obtained a significant financial gain from the local butcher.
I doubt that as the tenancy agreement will forbid running a business from the premises!
Will
You’ve clearly never had to try to knack (or should that maybe read ‘neck’…) a goose.
Trust me – far easier to leave them to die of old age.
Come’n PeeBee you can rise to the challenge I am sure.
Mate – seriously – they have necks like 75mm rebar.
I would suggest that well over half of ‘home-killed’ geese suffered an excruciating end of life.