Here’s the REAL (or not) low-down on how OnTheMarket was started

And now, as they say, for something completely different.

This video popped up yesterday.

It is reminiscent of the Mike Ockenden (Association of Home Information Pack Providers) film, but not nearly so well executed. In fact, it’s more like a dyslexic take-off of a take-off.

If you need reminding of the brilliance of the original, it’s here

And the performance that should have won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress is here:

Don't worry Rosalind


We hasten to add, the ‘AHIPP’¬† film wasn’t actually Mike Ockenden any more than the ‘OTM’ film stars a well-known (insert preferred name) estate agent with what might have seemed like a good idea and an uncontrollable laughing mechanism when it comes to explaining the “one other portal” rule and a 48-hour marketing delay.

We have no idea who is behind it. Whoever it is, we think we can safely say that (a) their spelling is rubbish, and (b) it wasn’t made by any friend of OnTheMarket.

The latest in those alleged dirty tricks? Well, at least this one is funny. Well, conthemarket was as well … ooh, can that be a clue?

Nor, by the way, can we identify the original ‘OnTheMarket’ film or, more likely TV chat show. Maybe one of our readers can help, particularly if they watch a lot of foreign television.

But, anyway, if you want to know the allegedly full story of how OnTheMarket was started, here it is. Your theories are very welcome.

Sprift 2 end of article

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  1. Robert May

    How does one clean porridge out of a keyboard, off a screen and walls?

  2. cmRENTandSALES

    That is absolutely CM-azing ūüôā

  3. Benay

    Maybe one of our readers can help, particularly if they watch a lot of foreign television. Spanish television perhaps? (Winky emoticon)

  4. whaley

    Fair play that’s great

  5. B6RKY


    The next one will be the one of Hitler in his bunker. The one were they pretend Hitler is Wenger/Ferguson /Springet?

    Who will do the subtitles ūüėČ

  6. danny

    Quite possibly the funniest thing ive seen since the OTM traffic figures …

  7. Gump

    That’s hilarious!

  8. Penguin

    Brilliant. Very funny.

  9. Harree

    The funniest thing about the video is …. it’s true!

  10. smile please

    Very good, Thank you for posting, brightened up my day!

  11. OverHalfWay

    I’m dyslexic, but it wasn’t me, but I did have a Laugh!

    It was probably made by a Zoopla rep, as they have less agent calls to do nowadays !

  12. Jonnie

    Splendid, very funny,  time for someone to do the Hitlers Bunker version, of course it could be one where an agent in a town is the last one left on Zoopla? РJonnie

  13. Benay

    1st draft, Paul H version- a work in progress

    What? What? What  do you mean 90% of AM agents have dropped my precious portal favouring instead the smug bastad they all said they hate.
    OOOew bend over and let me give you a ******* Mr Agent! Let me dally with your missus and let me send you a bill Shipside must be the very devil himself.

    Hall, Notley you stay behind everyone else get out of my site, Oh sh1t they have!

    We have given them everything, we have taken their data and built them a valuation tool that is hopelessly crappy, we were only trying to make stupid agents look smart. How can agents not love us for that?

    Ok, Ok, I admit it was wrong to share agents data with Sarah ‘use the¬† 1996 photo please’ Beeny’s customers, it was wrong to get the big tall baldy fella from Channel 4 to take the pi55, it was wrong to invest heavily in their competition but for the love of god tell me where did it all go so wrong?…………..

  14. Taff

    “Nor … can we identify the original film or, possibly, TV show. Maybe one of our readers can help, particularly if they watch a lot of foreign television.” The original film is “Downfall” – essentially the story of a young secretary who became Hitlers secretary and ended up in the Berlin Bunker. It’s a rivetting film; please don’t let the sub-titles put you off. If¬†you enjoy laugh-a-minute romantic films, this isn’t the one for you, but if you enjoy history and would like to see what the last few days in the bunker were probably like, take the phone off the hook and settle down, it’s a belter.


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