Senior staff from Foxtons, Knight Frank and Savills have held a summit to try and find out why tiny bedsits in the grimmer parts of Clapham are not meeting their £1m valuations.

An optional feature of these “single-room human containment units” is the hybrid kitchen sink and urinal, available for an extra £22,000.

The agents are baffled as to why the bedsits aren’t selling, given that three-bedroom homes in Blackburn are being snapped up at a tenth of the price.

Estate agent Carolyn Ryan said: “By all known laws of the universe, these properties should be selling like hot cakes. But somehow, incredibly, they’re not.”

How we love the Daily Mash!

We have done ever since it revealed during the depths of the last recession that estate agents were keeping their hands in by showing other estate agents round properties and then bombarding each other all day long with phone calls.

This time, though, it’s the use of the word ‘hybrid’ that somehow does it.

Estate agents amazed that bedsits in grim bits of London not selling for £1m