As someone who thinks Christmas should not be spoken of, sung about or advertised before December 1st (and preferably December 24th), and who is allergic to its indigestible over-commercialisation, I was delighted to be asked by Ros to dissect the offerings in our Christmas video competition.

What better than to sit Scrooge-like in judgement of all that do-goodery and fun. Bah humbug!

So, with mulled wine and mince pie in hand, I waded into the offerings and now bring you my thoughts on what our agency friends have been up to. It has to be said that every one of them deserves a prize, but not always for reasons you might expect…

Seany Claus had a warming opening soundtrack but the sight of the backside being tucked into red trousers spoiled the moment. Mummy and daughter gave very professional performances and Sean Dickson get my vote for best festive beard and gnashers.

Now I am a bit of a car nut so Breckon & Breckon caught my eye with their Mini roaring up the road in an effort to get away from Santa, sleigh and reindeer. And the drone shots of the dreaming spires of Oxford were lovely. But I’m sorry, this one didn’t quite hit the spot for me. The snow on-snow off scenes reminded me of out of season photos on certain property portals.

Gibbins Richards kept things refreshingly simple – a whole load of happy looking people singing carols in a barn. Unlike some of the slicker offerings they used no whistles and bells. Actually, musically, there are some bells. And a cute donkey. They get top marks for sound clarity as you can hear all the words; and for clearly identifying a worthy cause and having a generous and simple donation message.

Helmores started promisingly (yes, I got the subtle purple message) and the agent under the bed is a lot better looking than Moz the Monster. It is a very slick take-off of the John Lewis ad. Actually, it’s a lot better than the John Lewis ad. But we’ve carried a few stories on EYE this year concerning what some agents get up to in bedrooms that are not their own so probably best that we swiftly move on…

I really wanted Harris & Wood to win my heart with their tale of the lonely old chap missing his long-gone dog, and using the Holley Maher song was a stroke of genius. I especially warmed to the theme when the door was shut in faces of the carol singers and the puppy dog was unceremoniously batted away from under the chair. Surely man would adopt new dog in the end? He did, but unfortunately the thing was nearly four minutes long and by the end I was beyond caring. Less really is more.

Simpsons. Bless you Adam Dewar for having such a valiant go. Your greetings came across as totally genuine and sincere and I was just thinking ‘how lovely’ when you pulled that poem out of your pocket. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. For rhyming ‘godsons’ with ‘Hodsons’ I’m afraid you must go to the bottom of the class. And for goodness sake, don’t give up the day job to become a poet!

I’m afraid I am old enough to remember Lesley Phillips’ famous leering catchphrase of ‘Ding Dong!’ whenever a pretty girl came into his view; so when I saw the title ‘Ding Dong viewing day is here’ and the lovely ladies of Robinson Reade getting ready to perform I was suitably hooked. Sad to relate, the words of the song appeared to have been written by A. Dewar (see above) and the synchronised bobbing was anything but synchronised. Great fun, but not quite a winner.

Professional Properties made a professional video of children opening boxes and appearing to be delighted with the light bulbs contained in them. All except the last child who gave a superbly grumpy performance that touched my skinflint heart. It got the message across but there was not much evidence of festive cheer or feelgood factor in this one. Which made it a certainty for inclusion in my shortlist.

Someone in DB Roberts must like Haribo (other sweets are available) an awful lot. Their video started with what I thought was going to be an Apprentice-like ‘You’re fired’ skit but then transmogrified into a clever parody of the sweeties ad where adults are dubbed with children’s voices. Oscar-winning performances from the staff made this video very enjoyable and between them they have the finest sets of antlers this side of Lapland. Well done everyone who took part.

In the spirit of good cheer and of Christmas I would like to say that everyone is a winner but since there are some real turkeys in there I can’t. In fact, after a dozen glasses of mulled wine and two packets of mince pies I couldn’t care less who wins. However, I don’t want Ros getting all unseasonal with me so I suppose I’d better make some decisions.

In third place: Thomas Morris.

In second place: DB Roberts

In first place: Gibbins Richards – to which EYE will send a lovely box of chocolates and also, because I actually thoroughly enjoy Christmas and especially enjoyed their singing, a cheque for £100 to add to their excellent fundraising efforts. Congratulations!

p.s. It came to our attention after the closing date for the competition but it would have been a strong contender for top spot – the random acts of kindess recorded by Worthing agents Robert Luff and Co are well worth watching.