Former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has begun work as an estate agent in Doncaster, the satirical publication the Daily Mash has reported, and is promising to “dominate” the local property market.

After being sacked by Chelsea for being too Chelsea even for Chelsea, the special one has already fuelled tensions with a rival agency across the road with the disparaging claim that they only sell small houses.

At the agency where Mourinho is working, receptionist Wayne Hayes said: “We made a £500 commission on a one-bedroom flat last night and he did a knee slide across the front window, pumping his fists.

“When the regional manager called for a progress report, Mourinho banged on about how the sale was directly due to his genius, rather than Gary pretending there were other buyers interested.”

But with several clients already taking their business elsewhere, Mourinho has begun blaming everything from “the wrong kind of houses” to Rightmove.

Well, we suppose Mourinho is on the market!

The Daily Mash story is here